Creating a Parenting Plan? Some Thoughts to Consider Before You Start Preparing
If you are getting divorced and have children who are minors, you will need to create a parenting plan. If you are creating your parenting plan in divorce mediation, you are creating a parenting plan for an uncontested divorce. Even if you are not in mediation, parents still need to create a parenting plan. The parenting plan will serve as the foundation for how you and your spouse interact with your children.
What is a parenting plan?
A parenting plan is a document that outlines when children will see each parent, clarifying which days and times each parent will be responsible for caring for the marital children. This document can be as detailed as the parties may need, including information such as who is picking up and dropping off the children or the location of pick up and drop off. Of course, instances such as parental job changes or the attendance of new schools as children grow older may require adjustment to the parenting plan.
That being said, consider what your children want without making your children a conduit for messages or airing your concerns when you may have issues with parenting. Making a clear parenting plan will help your children feel at ease knowing that they will have time with both parents and will help you feel at ease knowing what days and times you will spend with the children.
What goes into creating a parenting plan?
Some of the considerations that go into the parenting plan include:
- Weekly parenting schedule
- Children’s school vacation
- How much time you will spend with the children during summer vacation
- Parenting when parents live in other states or countries
- Holiday schedule, from Christmas and Independence Day to Mother’s Day, Father’s day
- Other days that are important to your family
How do I create a weekly parenting schedule?
The parenting plan will look at a weekly schedule, considering where will the children reside each week and who will get them to school or after-school activities. Creating calendars with a schedule including dates and times is nice to hang up in a visible location in the home; this serves as a reminder to the parents and also lets the children know what to expect.
The weekly parenting plan will depend on whether one parent is the primary parent or the parents have shared custody.
Where will the children be for school vacations?
The parenting plan will designate where the children will be during school vacations and summer vacations. As the parent, you will need to decide who will care for the marital children during winter and spring school vacations.
Where will the children be for holidays?
The parenting plan will also look at where the children will be for holidays or how the holidays may be shared between the parties including Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, the children’s birthdays and whatever holidays are important to your family.
What if my child is sick?
If your child is sick, you will need to consider who may be able to stay home or who could care for the marital children.
What if I live out of state or out of the country?
If one parent lives out of state or out of the country, you may want to consider scheduled times for video conferencing, vacation, flights to and from countries and decisions by parents who, if anyone, is to accompany the children during those flights.
Other considerations for creating a parenting plan
Other considerations may include:
- How parents will assist their children to see that school projects are completed on time
- How parents will work cooperatively to assist the children to complete and to review homework
- How parents will work cooperatively to notify each other of meetings and/or concerns with children with special needs
- Designating who will hold birth certificates, medical information, school information, passports and other documents
- How parents will communicate going forward for emergencies, changes or areas of concern for your children
- How parents will cooperatively exchange clothes, electronic devices, sporting equipment as needed
Lastly, some tips for creating a parenting plan and making it work include the following:
- Not arguing in front of the marital children
- Not discussing parenting in front of the marital children
- Helping your children transition from one house to another, being prepared
- Working to keep an open mind and being flexible to changes when needed
- Sharing information on activities and school events if not available to the both parents
- Explore ideas to help make your parenting plan work for you both and your children with software programs, sharing calendars, apps or creating something that works for all of you.
A parenting plan can be of great benefit to both children and parents.
